Clean Up Good

This is not a blog about housekeeping. Or poor English. The title is as in "Don't I clean up good??" After almost 6 years of being a full-time stay-at-home-mom, I am dipping my toes into the icy cold waters of corporate America. I had an interview Monday morning at 8:30 AM. (Ha! makes it sound like I'm a morning person!)
I had a cute, trendy outfit picked out and made the mistake of asking HH what he thought. He was quiet. Not a good sign. He said it was better to err on the side of overdressing than under. I say it was a mistake to ask, because he was right. Always is. Dang.
So there I am, at 7:30, trying to pick out another outfit. And this is how the process went. I got the only skirt I can still fit into - the red silk number you see. Then I put on the only summer dressy top I could find - the b/w silk knit. Fortunately I have this great red bag with gold trim, and appropriate gold jewelry. And I was set.
Here's the thing, though. I didn't freak out and beat myself up (or anyone else) because I'm the heaviest I've every been in my life. I didn't bemoan how aweful I look and why don't I have the perfect clothes to wear? God's healing power, His wisdom, age, experience and lots of therapy! have allowed me to appreciate where I am and eschew the frivolous.
Yes, I sometimes (often) still fuss over frivolous issues. And yes, I was annoyed about the clothes. But I was annoyed that I had 30 minutes to put together a new outfit. I wasn't annoyed at my HH, who was, as I said, RIGHT. Again. (Are you reading this, Sweetie?) Nor was I annoyed that I was "fat." I looked back at myself these decades and see how at every stage, every age, no matter how good I looked, that I thought of myself as imperfect somehow. Very imperfect. So why keep berating myself over it? As I said, I am the heaviest I've ever been. But you know what? I may be even heavier next year...or I may get a terminal disease...or have some other tragedy befall me.
So what am I going to do? I am going to stop complaining and putting myself down about imperfect physical attributes. I am going to rejoice in today.
And then I'm heading to the gym.


AmyP said...

Yeah, yeah. You look great, (you really do) but how'd the interview go? I've been watching for an update.

Musings of a Housewife said...

An interview!? Do tell!

Anonymous said...

Grace- You have sexy legs girl!! I am glad you are finding peace in accepting yourself because you are pretty amazing! Christine xoxo